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A Walk on Congress

    I think a lot about this moment it was this and so much more.
We are walking. I pass one face after the other.smiling, focused, empty. She is crying her arms are folded around her self, she is trying to hold herself together.Her pace quickens she wants to leave this street and find a dark place to fall apart in. She is so vulnerable. I want to comfort her and tell her it will be okay. There is nothing I can do.We stop walking and watch as she hurries past us. I can see her falling apart. I am relieved. In this moment as I watch her collapse I see a human in all of its glory.In a place were I see nothing she in all of her pain is a glimmer of something more. She is perfectly and wonderfully human.

For English

What We Said
Well, let me say this:
You don't know what you have done to me,
It has changed who I am,
and my mind,
It altered you,
Its something neither of us can explain -
Whats done is done
We will see each other soon,
It does not feel right,
With out the busy streets,
With out the talks, and the books,
Where we know what we know,
and where our words were enough,
like smiles when we were small,
Cause that's all we really want.
I wont forget-
The future is in our hands,
I promise you;
What comes is better than what came before.

The Speaker

    Today they called an asembly. A man from the original freedom writers came to speak to us. It was just another asembly, I shuffled in with the rest of the blank expresions. I didnt have anyone to sit with so i sat alone. I sat back and watched the unfamiler faces laugh and goof off. People waving their friends over to sit with them. The auditorium was filling as the school filed in. Eventually people came and sat by me but they didnt speak to me, they just ignored me. That was fine I didnt know them anyway.
    He came on stage, he was singing. He sang about how if he stopped and helped everyone he could then his life would not be in vain. It was unconventional but still expected. Some people laughed and some sat silently...i guess neither was better than the other.
   I have not seen the movie, but in the preveiw it shows a scean were the teacher draws a line with tape through the middle of the class room. She asks that if anyone has lost a loved one to gang violence step up to the line. Everyone does. She starts to count, stay at the line if you have lost more than one, nobody moves, two, three, four, more than four, no one has moved.
   Then he asks us to stand up, but he starts off joking, he asks us to step up if we liked barney or spongebob, then it gets deeper, he asks us to stand up if we want to be a doctor, a few stand, a athlete some more stand. He goes through a list of professions and people stand as their dream is called.
   Everyone is now seated. He asks who wants to make a diffrence and influence somebodys life. The entire autitorium stands in a singular motion, including myself. Afterwords my science teacher said that that renewed his hope in people...i think it did mine too. Everyone is standing and everyone understands, we are all human, and we all want something more for each other. We sit.
   He is smiling from the stage but it quickly fades. Stand up he says if you are being raised by a single parent. Many stand up. He says now look around you these people are standing with you...they are going through the same thing. Stand up if one or more of your parents is an acholic, a third of the auditorium stands. Stand up if you have one or more parents addicted to drugs, half the autitorium stands. Then he asks stand if some one you know has died from violence, more stand. He says the same thing after each group stands, these are the people who are hurting with you.
   Then he asks the kids struggling with depression to stand. I stand. He says look around you these people understand. He says now remain standing if you have ever thought about suicide. Only a few sit, I remain standing. He says look around you these people know what you are going through. I look around me, people i know are standing around me, but what surprised me the most as i looked around, was that the kids standing up with me were not the ones dressed in all black, or the ones with there hair in their face, it wasnt the kids who were insecure. It was people you pass in the hall and you dont worry about them, because they look happy and normal. It was the kids that others strive to be like.
    Afterwords as I walked down the hall I saw one of the girls who stood in front of me, as we passed she just smiled faintly and then turned to her friend. She understood and i understood. Everyone is dealing with something, and as i walk down the hallway I can see the pain and the joy on every ones seemingly posed faces. I don't look at them like they don't understand anymore, I look at them like I don't understand...because there is so much more to everybody then what i thought.

Start it off with a bitter peom.

Piano Keys
Piano keys under her finger tips,
 what a lovely noise she is creating,
 debating were to go from here,
 see that tear,
 watch it fall on those lovely notes like rain on the pavement,
like rain on the pavement.
 I can see it now all those thoughts of all those people in this audience,
 here for everyone but her finger tips,
 but her tears.
 Its vague like the wind you cant see it but its there,
 watch carefully you might catch a glimpse,
 not likely,
 i laugh at your effort.
 I see it
 i see her tears as they land on the keys,
 i hear her thoughts through the melody,
 the meloncholy,
 now im walking away.
 Purple lights dance across their faces,
 i see it here too,
 whats another word,
 its just another word,
 what can it do.
The soft nostalgia of the ivory,
 her hands dance across it,
 im watching,
 shes there,
 no shes not,
 shes some where far away,
 what else can i say?
 Drip Drip Dripping.
 Im falling,
 shes falling,
 were all falling,
 like a weight in this ocean of fears.
 I see her crying under the spot light,
 i hold my breath,
the rest stare they dont know,
 of course they dont know.
There eyes widen this is just a song to them,
 this is her life,
 and her pain spilt out on the floor before them,
no one says a word,
but i am screaming,
im screaming silently to myself,
in my head.
 I see the mess,
I understand,
 i pick up a mop,
 and grasp it with both hands.
 The purple lights are in there eyes,
 what an awful place.
 Its coming to an end.
 Her fingers dont struggle to make the last sound,
 but her tears scream for it not to end.
 When it Ends she ends,
she stands the audeince applauses like they should,
they make comments,
 they loved,
 abloute hit,
 two thumbs up,
the freakin mozart of the age,
 she smiles poiltely as she dyes inside,
 killing her self slowly,
with each emply compliment.
 I dont aproch i stand in the back and watch as she fall to peices with each handshake,
 and fake smile.
 Like rain on the Pavement.
Shes lost forever to the misery of everything that know one understands,
i understand.
 She doesnt debate she knows,
 straight to hell with the rest of us,
 i know straight to ground were we deserve to be,
fancy mansions,
 sports cars,
wonderfull tickets,
 to a wonderful piano recital,
 staring one of the wonderful people,
 we know nothing about.
 Im sick,
 shes sick,
were all diseased rodents,
 trying to scrounge up any kind of perfection we can find,
 make the best of what you have,
 you will soon have nothing,
the first will be the last,
 and your at the head of this one sir,
 in you suit and tie and the purple lights in your eyes,
 as you stand,
 as you applaud,
 you know nothing.
 I know nothing,
she knows nothing,
 but isnt that the point.
 See that tear,
 watch it fall on the dirty street,
 on the dry earth of some unknown village in some unknown contenet,
 on the carpeted hallway of your cubicle,
 watch it fall in that suburban home,
 and on the corner were the man with a hole in his boot and an outstreched hand sleeps,
 see it fall in the big city and the small town,
see tricke down the faces in the mall and the mom and pop shop,
see how it makes that sound when it hits the ground of your house and your neighbors,
 see it splash in the school hallway
 and in the lobby of your office,
watch it fall on those lovely notes like rain on the pavement
....Like rain on the pavement.



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August 2009


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